• Victoria Robinson

He Tried to Kill His Own Daughter

My second daughter, I call her Tawni Bear, turned 37 today. When I found out I was pregnant with her, her older sister, Teryn, was 3 years old. I loved being a mother and was deliriously happy to be having another child! I was shocked when my husband became angry when I shared the happy news with him. My (now ex) husband immediately started putting pressure on me to have an abortion. He said he liked it the way it was and didn’t want another child. I was absolutely flabbergasted. We were married. We already had a beautiful little girl. How could he say such a thing? After a week of his constant abuse, belittling, even threatening divorce if I refused, he said, “You want to tell Teryn her father left and it was your fault our family broke up?” He knew how my parents divorce had devastated me and then used it against me. Under extreme pressure from my husband, and a long conversation with the abortion clinic telling me, “Sweetie, you need to save your marriage and do what your husband wants. It’s not a baby anyway. You’re too early. Do the right thing for your family. You guys can have children later when he wants them,” I made an appointment for the following Saturday. Since he wouldn’t be able to take me to the appointment because of a softball tournament, I had to ask a girlfriend to drive me the hour away to the abortion clinic. She didn’t necessarily agree with what I was doing, but she never judged me. She was just there for me. The dreaded Saturday morning arrived. As I was waiting for my friend, I came into the kitchen to find my ex making egg whites, dressed in his softball uniform preparing for the game. I was terrified to approach him. But, once again, as I had already been doing for days, I found myself crying and begging him to change his mind. I told him, “Married people don’t do this. Please don’t make me do this. It’s our baby!” He stood with his arms crossed and for the hundredth time that week, said, “I already told you if you don’t do it, I’ll divorce you.” As I walked downstairs in tears, I looked up one last time, as he stood watching me. I was so scared, “Let me get this straight. If I don’t walk out this door and have an abortion, you’re going to leave us?” He said, “That’s exactly what I’m saying. When you get back, I’ll take you to Jones’ Fish Camp.” He knew it was my favorite restaurant with the best fried scallops and hush puppies. From somewhere within me, my courage rose up and shaking, I said, “Then, I guess you better start packing. I can’t do it.” When I tapped on the car window to tell my friend I couldn’t do it and apologized for making her get up so early, she smiled and said, “It’s okay, Vikki.” The next day after his softball tournament, my ex came home. He was still so angry. He beat me so badly and after throwing me down on the floor proceeded to kick me in the stomach as he calmly said, “That should do it.” I had to be taken to the hospital. I bled for a week. The doctors couldn’t promise that my unborn child would survive. I stayed in bed and didn’t move for a week. I only got up to crawl to the bathroom. He never lifted one finger to help me. I was determined to save my baby. After a week of bed rest, I went for my appointment. There she was. The ultrasound displayed a strong heartbeat. The most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. My Tawni Bear had survived. I thank God every year she’s alive. She’s one of the most greatest humans I’ve ever known. He left when she was 9 months old and we were divorced soon after, he didn’t pay court ordered child support, rarely visited them and moved to California, where last I heard, he still resides. To this day, he has nothing to do with his biological daughters. But he was the one who lost much more than I ever did. Oh and that friend waiting in the driveway to take me? The one who happily smiled when I told her I changed my mind? Her name was Grace. I don’t think that was by accident. Grace, I will always love you for being such a kind, supportive friend. To my daughter, Tawni, Happy Birthday baby! I could not ever imagine a life without you in it. I love you high as the sky, deep as the sea and all the air in between. ❤️😘 I thank God for the power of praying, as those who didn’t even know me who were praying for a women just like me. Praying that God would intervene for the woman considering abortion. Praying that God would give her the courage to stand up to a man who didn’t deserve her. And I’ll always thank my Heavenly Father, because even though I haven’t always made the right choice, that day, I made the right choice. ❤️😘

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